Thursday, July 27, 2006
July 28th, 2006 Oh Doggy Poo!
Running With
Scissors by Juli of
Sew Weird Designs
Can someone please tell me where July went? Holy smokes! July flew by so quick I have whiplash. Only one more month and then "BACK TO SCHOOL" (happy dance! happy dance!).
This week I am going to introduce you to my neighbor, Ruth. She is an 80 something widow that lives next door. In fact, we share a driveway, even though she doesn't drive and doesn't own a car.
Ruth lives alone with her three dogs, a German Shepard, a Bull Terrier, and a Jack Russell Terrier. Her nearest relative is her daughter who lives in Ann Arbor, 30 minutes away. So we make sure she gets what she needs and goes where she needs to go. This can be difficult at times because her hearing is very bad. Last week while I was taking her around on errands, she asked me to stop at Taco Bell. She then tells me that she saw an ad for something that looked good and wanted to try it. I told her I had seen the same ad and that it was for a "Crunch Wrap Supreme". She replied, "No, I don't think they have crumpets." I corrected her and said, "CRUNCH WRAP SUPREME." "Crumpets? They sell those at Polly's Market. We can stop there and get you some dear. They are very good with Earl Grey tea", she tells me. We pulled into Taco Bell and get her "Crunch Wrap Supreme" and head home. I didn't even try to talk to her the rest of the way home.
The next day Ruth came over to give me a check for her part of our shared garbage service. As I began talking to her in my kitchen, I notice she kept glancing over my shoulder. I didn't want to turn my head to see what she was looking at because she needs to see my lips to understand what I'm saying. I ignored her glances and continued our conversation about her beautiful rose garden while I walked her toward the door. I shut the door behind her and turned to go back into my office. And there it was! I finally saw what she had been looking at. The horror of it hit me so hard that my knees got weak. It seems my daughter Blayne had left her fake rubber pile of doggy poo on the counter. OMG! Ruth had thought there was dog poo on my kitchen counter! I grabbed the rubber poo and raced to the door to explain, but stopped short. I couldn't just run up on this old woman with a rubber pile of dog poo, it would give her a heart attack. I could just imagine her thinking that I was some insane circus monkey preparing to fling her dung!
It was obvious that I should wait and try to explain things later. Oh, but that would look so pathetic. Maybe she didn't really notice? That is so stupid! Of course she noticed! It was right there in the middle of the counter just as sure as sh**. Ok. I am just going to go to my happy place and forget it ever happened. I will forget about it and go on like it is totally normal to have fake doggy poo on my kitchen counter. She's an old woman, after all, and will probably forget all about it anyway. UGHHH! This is awful! My sweet elderly neighbor thinks my dogs climb up and crap on my kitchen counter! I guess I should give her kitchen towels for Christmas instead of the usual tin of homemade fudge.
Just another day in my life running with scissors.
