Running With Scissors

Running With Scissors
by Juli of Sew Weird Designs

http://www.sewweird.com

It's a
bird? It's a plane? No, it's SUPERMAN!....

Saturday afternoon we took a trip to Lansing to see the new Superman on the
IMAX 3D. HOLY MOLY! What an experience! I remember watching the "Man
of Steel" on the old black and white Zenith. Never in my wildest dreams
could I have imagined anything as spectacular as a movie on the 8 story IMAX
screen in 3D. My girls think they are roughing it when they have to watch
TV on a 19 inch screen. It really blows their mind when I tell them that we
had only 3 channels and cartoons only aired on Saturday mornings. No VCR's
or TiVo...OH THE HORRORS! How did we ever survive.

I can
remember as a kid thinking it was stupid that no one recognized Clark Kent
was Superman. In Superman Returns I was bothered by the fact that Superman
was missing for 5 years while he was off searching for the remains of his
home planet Krypton. Now if Superman could fly to Krypton and back then why
didn't his parents fly off Krypton when the planet was dying? Is it just me
or does the whole thing seem illogical?



If Superman was real would anyone not see that Clark Kent is really Superman?
Since it would be difficult to conduct a experiment to test the theory that
a pair of thick glasses could be a successful disguise. I decided to do a
little searching on how stupid we as a human race could be. The results were
very disturbing and I feel we are in big trouble. Let me share with you the
evidence I found to prove that yes, some of us are that stupid.

Actual Product Warnings:

• 
  
  "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." --
  On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.
• 
  
  "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.
• 
  
  "Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.
• 
  
  "Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.
• 
  
  "Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held
  massaging device.
• 
  
  "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public
  sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
• 
  
  "This product not intended for use as a dental drill."
  -- On an electric rotary tool.
• 
  
  "Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant.
• 
  
  "Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield
  that keeps the sun off the dashboard.
  
• "Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy
  helmet used as a container for popcorn.
• 
  
  "Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.
• 
  
  "Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.
• 
  
  "May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.
• 
  
  "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden
  set called "Popcorn Rock."
• 
  
  "Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.
• 
  
  "Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.
• 
  
  "Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion.
• 
  
  "Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a
  microwave oven.
• 
  
  "Remember,objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle
  helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.
• 
  
  "Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection
  of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting
  the craft."
  -- In the manual for a jet ski.
• 
  
  "Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and
  death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects),
  which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.
• 
  
  "Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag
  of fresh grapes.
  
• "Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.
  
• "Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant.
  
• "Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On
  a box of rat poison.
  
• "Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable
  stroller.
• "Look before driving."
  -- On the dash board of a mail truck.
• "Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron.
  
• "Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's
  cough medicine.
• "For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights.
  
• "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child
  sized Superman costume.
• "Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.
  
• "Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." --
  On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.
  
• "Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter.
  
• "Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice.
  
• "May be harmful if swallowed."
  -- On a shipment of hammers.
  
• "Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual
  for a Swedish chainsaw.
  
• "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers."
  -- From a manual for an SGI computer.
• "Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts.
  
• "Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it."
  
• "Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of
  sleeping pills.
  
• "Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal
  barrel of a .22 caliber rifle.
• "Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions
  for an electric thermometer.
• "Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch
  inflatable picture frame.
  
• "Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets.
  
• "Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up
  snack.
  
• "Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.
  
• "For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack.
  
• "Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." --
  On the packaging for a wristwatch.
  

// posted by Jui Donoho @ 9:54 PM